Best Ever Rum Cake

Directions

1. 1
   Before starting, sample rum to check quality.
2. 2
   It should be smooth and not at all harsh to the palate.
3. 3
   Proceed.
4. 4
   Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
5. 5
   Check rum again.
6. 6
   It must be just right.
7. 7
   To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour level cup of rum into glass and drink it as fast as you can.
8. 8
   Repeat.
9. 9
   With electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
10. 10
    Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again.
11. 11
    Meanwhile, make sure rum is still all ok right.
12. 12
    Try another cup.
13. 13
    Open second bottle i-fxx, ifff, if necessary.
14. 14
    Add eggs, 2 cups druit and beat until high.
15. 15
    If druit gets stuck in beeters, pry loose with drewscriber.
16. 16
    Sample rum again, checking for tonscisticity.
17. 17
    Next sift 3 cups pepper or sault, really doesn't matter.
18. 18
    Sample rum.
19. 19
    Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice.
20. 20
    Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
21. 21
    Add 1 bablespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find.
22. 22
    Wix mel.
23. 23
    Grease oven.
24. 24
    Turn cake pan to 350°.
25. 25
    Pour mess into boven and ake.
26. 26
    Check rum again and go to bed.