Best Rum Cake Ever

Directions

1. 1
   Before you start, sample the rum for quality.
2. 2
   Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
3. 3
   Check the rum again; it must be just right. To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum and drink it as fast as you can.
4. 4
   Repeat, if necessary.
5. 5
   With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
6. 6
   Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again.
7. 7
   Meanwhile, make sure the rum is of the highest quality by chugging another cup.
8. 8
   Open another quart if nethathery.
9. 9
   Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat until high.
10. 10
    If druit gets stuck in beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
11. 11
    Sample the rum, checking for toxicisicisicisity.
12. 12
    Next, sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice.
13. 13
    Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
14. 14
    Add 1 babblespoon brown thugar, or whatever color you can find.
15. 15
    Wix mell.
16. 16
    Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350°.
17. 17
    Now pour the whole mess into the boven and ake.
18. 18
    Check the rum again and go to bed!