Elephant Stew

Directions

1. 1
   Cut elephant into bite-size pieces.
2. 2
   This will take approximately 2 months.
3. 3
   Cut vegetables into cubes (another 2 months).
4. 4
   Place meat in pan and cover with 1,000 gallons of bacon gravy and simmer 4 weeks.
5. 5
   Shovel in salt and pepper to taste. When meat is tender, add vegetables.
6. 6
   (A steam shovel is useful for this.)
7. 7
   Simmer slowly for 4 more weeks.
8. 8
   Garnish with parsley. Will serve 3,000 people.
9. 9
   If more are expected, add the two rabbits.
10. 10
    This is not recommended, however, since very few people like hare in their stew!