Holiday Fruit Cake

Directions

1. 1
   Light oven; get utensils and ingredients.
2. 2
   Remove blocks and toys from table.
3. 3
   Grease pan and crack nuts.
4. 4
   Measure 2 cups flour; remove baby's hands from flour and wash flour off him/her. Remeasure flour.
5. 5
   Put flour, baking powder and salt in sifter.
6. 6
   Get dust pan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked onto floor.
7. 7
   Get another bowl.
8. 8
   Answer door bell.
9. 9
   Return to kitchen.
10. 10
    Remove baby's hands from bowl.
11. 11
    Wash baby.
12. 12
    Answer phone.
13. 13
    Return to kitchen. Remove 1/4-inch salt from greased pan.
14. 14
    Look for baby.
15. 15
    Grease another pan.
16. 16
    Answer telephone.
17. 17
    Return to kitchen and find baby. Remove his/her hands from bowl.
18. 18
    Take up greased pan and find layer of nut shells in it.
19. 19
    Head for baby, who then flees, knocking bowl off table.
20. 20
    Wash kitchen floor, table, walls, dishes and baby. Call grocery store to order cake.
21. 21
    Take 2 aspirin and lay down.