Elephant Stew

Directions

1. 1
   Measure 3 cups of flour into large bowl; answer telephone. Take large bowl off small sons head; sweep up floor.
2. 2
   Measure 3 cups of flour in large bowl.
3. 3
   Measure 1/4 cup shortening; answer door bell.
4. 4
   Wash shortening from sons hands and face.
5. 5
   Add 1/4 cup shortening to flour; mix well.
6. 6
   Rock crying baby ten minutes. Answer telephone.
7. 7
   Put son in tub and scrub well.
8. 8
   Scrape flour and shortening mixture from floor, adding enough tears to relieve tension.
9. 9
   Open 1 can of beans with remaining strength.