Expensive Tomatoes

Directions

1. 1
   Live in Southern California. This step is important.
2. 2
   Go to the farmer's market. Pass the $5-a-lb heirloom tomato lady several times. Do nothing. As you are about to leave, approach her table, dig around in your pocket for the last time, place two tomatoes on her scale, then fork over your last $10, $3 of it in change. Go home. Lie to your spouse about how much they cost. Place salt on a nice piece of china. Cut up tomatoes, dip them in the salt and eat them. Regret nothing.