Fruitcake

Directions

1. 1
   Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again to be sure it is the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
2. 2
   Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
3. 3
   Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
4. 4
   Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
5. 5
   Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit. Mix the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry loose with a drewscriver.
6. 6
   Sample the whisky to check for consisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt or something. Who cares. Check again. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table, spoon, sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.
7. 7
   Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window, check the wicky again and go to bed.