Best Ever Rum Cake

Directions

1. 1
   Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality.
2. 2
   Good, isn't it?
3. 3
   Now go ahead.
4. 4
   Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
5. 5
   Check the rum again.
6. 6
   It must be just right.
7. 7
   To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can; repeat.
8. 8
   With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
9. 9
   Add 1 seaspoon of tugar and beat again.
10. 10
    Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality.
11. 11
    Try another cup.
12. 12
    Open second quart if necessary.
13. 13
    Add 2 erge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat again until high.
14. 14
    If druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loos with a drewscriver.
15. 15
    Sample the rum again, checking for tonsisticity.
16. 16
    Next, sift 3 cups baking powder, a pinch of rum, a seaspoon of toda an a cup of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter).
17. 17
    Sample the rum again.
18. 18
    Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice.
19. 19
    Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
20. 20
    Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever color you can find.
21. 21
    Wix mel.
22. 22
    Grease the oven and tun cake pan to 350 gredees.
23. 23
    Now pour the whole mess into the oven.
24. 24
    Maybe it would be better to forget the coven and the ake.
25. 25
    Just check the rum again and bo to ged.