Never Fail Dumplings

Directions

1. 1
   Secure one large elephant.
2. 2
   Kill, clean and cut into small cubes (this will take about two months).
3. 3
   Put in large kettle and simmer over kerosene heat at 465° for 14 weeks.
4. 4
   Make gravy to cover.
5. 5
   This serves 3,685 people.
6. 6
   If more meat is needed, add two rabbits.
7. 7
   But use only if necessary, as few people care for hare in their stew.