Not-Quite-Authentic Kimchi

Directions

1. 1
   Slice the cabbage into quarters. (The best way to do this is to slice the cabbage from the base up to about halfway up, then pull each half apart gently from the bottom. Repeat to get quarters.) Wash the cabbage quarters with water, and salt them well, sprinkling salt between each layer. Place cabbage quarters in a deep bowl, and let them sit for at least 2 hours or overnight, flipping them halfway to get them evenly salted.
2. 2
   By the end of the salting process, the salt will have drawn out some water from the cabbage, and the cabbage quarters should be slightly limp. Wash and rinse them thoroughly with water, and squeeze out the excess water. (At this point, you can check the salt level of the cabbage by tasting it. If it's too salty, rinse it under cold water a couple more times.)
3. 3
   Now for some veggie prep. Slice/julienne the carrot and radish into roughly 3-inch-long matchsticks. Slice the scallions to roughly the same length too.
4. 4
   Finely mince the garlic, ginger, and onion. (Alternatively, blend them all in a food processor.)
5. 5
   To make the spice paste, start by mixing the glutinous rice flour, brown sugar, and water in a small pot. Bring it to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring often. Leave the paste to cool. Strain the liquid if there are any large clumps of flour in the paste.
6. 6
   Add the garlic, ginger, onion, fish sauce, and chili flakes to the paste. Mix well until. Then add the carrots, radishes and scallions and mix until well incorporated. (Add a touch of water if the mixture becomes too stiff to combine.)
7. 7
   Now for the fun part! (If you don't want your hands feeling all numb and tingly from the chili, you might want to wear gloves for this step!) Spread the kimchi paste onto each cabbage quarter, make sure to lift each leaf individually to get the paste in between each layer. (DO NOT rub your eyes.)
8. 8
   Fold the cabbage quarters in half lengthwise, then store in an airtight mason jar/container. Leave in a cool, dark place to ferment for 3-7 days. (It gets funkier the longer you leave it out. I like it after about 5 days.)
9. 9
   Give it a taste after the fermentation period. If it's to your liking, transfer to an airtight container to keep in the refrigerator. If you like your kimchi extra funky, however, leave it out for a few more days before storing in the refrigerator. They keep anywhere from 3-6 months. (Though it's not uncommon to keep kimchi for much longer.)