Road-Kill Pasta

Ingredients

• 1 lb pasta (any kind)
• 12 lb asparagus, steamed
• 12 cup smoked turkey breast (or roast beast, and other toasty, roasty meats) or 12 cup bacon (or roast beast, and other toasty, roasty meats) or 12 cup ham (or roast beast, and other toasty, roasty meats) or 12 cup any other road-kill meat (or roast beast, and other toasty, roasty meats)
• 18 cup dark truffle oil
• 1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon pepper