Homemade Soap

Directions

1. 1
   Strict is my diet.
2. 2
   I must not want.
3. 3
   It maketh me to lie down at night hungry.
4. 4
   It leadeth me past Baskin-Robbins.
5. 5
   It trieth my will power.
6. 6
   It leadeth me in the paths of starvation for my figure's sake.
7. 7
   Yea, though I walk through the aisles of the pastry department, I will buy no sweet rolls for they are fattening.
8. 8
   The cakes and the pies, they tempt me.
9. 9
   Before me is a table with celery and lettuce; my day's quota runneth over. Surely calories and weight charts shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in fear of the scales forever.